my crazy days

lickypickystickyfree:

animalstalkinginallcaps:

JUST SO YOU BOTH KNOW, THERE IS NO SANTA CLAUS.

NO GOD.

NO HOPE.

THERE’S ONLY WORK AND TAXES AND INFIDELITY AND SHITTY DIVORCE AND MAYBE, IF YOU’RE LUCKY, DEATH.

PLEASE GO AWAY NOW, AND THANKS FOR CHOOSING HONEST DON’S POLAR EMPORIUM FOR ALL YOUR FUN TIME NEEDS. I’M HONEST DON, AND IF YOU SEE MY DECIDEDLY DISHONEST EX-WIFE LURKING AROUND THE PARKING LOT IT WOULD BE REALLY GREAT IF YOU SHOT HER IN THE HEART.

WITH A GUN.

HAVE A GOOD VACATION. 

i don’t even know how to laugh and stay alive. this is brilliant.